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来源:中国社区    发布时间:2019年10月17日 05:50:16    编辑:admin         

寒假英语日记每日一篇:新朋友(A New Friend) -01-30 :: 来源: Today i made a new friend,he lives across us.I was watching cartoons this afternoon,then mother asked me to buy a bag of salt.In order to get back soon,i was going to run the red night.Then i was stopped by aboy standing beside me.He said:"It's dangerous to run the red night.You may be hit,your legs or arms may be broken,and your parents would cry you." On hearing that i didn't run the red night.And we became good friends,when we go back home,i found that he lived across us.That's amazing!今天我认识了一个新朋友,他住在我家对面下午我正在看电视,这是妈妈叫我去买盐为了能快点回来,我正想闯红灯这时站在我身边的一个男孩阻止了我他说:“闯红灯是很危险的你可能被车撞,你可能会被撞坏胳膊或腿,你的父母将为你哭泣”听了这些,我就没有闯红灯了我们成了好朋友,当我们回家的时候,我发现他就住在我家对面太神奇了!。

台湾宝岛旅行游记(中英文对照) -01- :30: 来源: 台湾宝岛旅行游记(中英文对照)My first trip to Taiwan, which took place last month, was with a team of professional photographers. They were more interested in the people inhabiting this treasure of an island, than the tourist attractions it has to offer. And it made a world of difference because it clicked with my intuitive finding that the most wonderful thing about Taiwan is its people.It is difficult to claim to know a place and its people in a tour of one week. So I depended on my teammates corroboration. He Yanguang, a veteran photographer with China Youth Daily, was embarking on his fourth tour of Taiwan. He first visited it in 1997. "There's not much difference," he said, "not even in the facade."A family of five enjoys ice cream on a street in New Taipei City. 在台北市的街道边,一家五口其乐融融地吃着冰激凌And that lack of change could well be the most valuable lesson we carried away from this journey.Sure, there is Taipei 1, the tallest building in the world when it opened in until the title was snatched away by the Burj Khalifa in Dubai in . It's certainly sky-piercing or a crane among a clutch of chicks, to borrow the Chinese term, as Taipei does not have a dense cluster of skyscrapers as Hong Kong does.When I examined it closely, Taipei 1 seems an oversized Chinese pendant, with coins on all four sides. All the symbols of money would take some explaining when the world enters an all digital era when cash may sound extremely quaint to future visitors.But worry not. Right now, Taipei is a paradise to those who want a taste of the old way. Here, gourmet could mean snacks and street stands, which attract hordes of diners including the middle class and chic youth. This is subversive to my thinking because in the mainland a restaurant could easily have dozens or hundreds of tables in a mammoth hall or flanks of private rooms, often with lavish decorations.In Taiwan, we were taken to every lunch in restaurants with no more than tables. The service is efficient and the place is clean, but the taste of the food is so memorable we instantly understand why so many are waiting a seat. I had the best beef noodle I could remember.I was told that all of these businesses are operated by families and most have a history that goes back half a century or more. And I noticed there are many businesses of this size in Taipei, either downtown or in the suburbs, and they contribute to the feeling of a commy. I left Taipei with a strong sense that, though it's a city with a population of almost seven million in the metropolitan area (with .6 million in the city proper), it has a touch of intimacy as if it's still a village - only endlessly enlarged. People talk to each other in a way they talk to fellow villagers.We visited many old streets and night markets, which are unadorned and crowded. Vendors hawk their offerings and bakers ask you to have a taste of their fresh pastry, but they never give you any pressure to buy or give you the nasty look after you tasted something but decided against buying it. There is a friendliness in their voice and their manner that is more neighborly than businesslike.Every member of our delegation was impressed by this attitude of the people we met. One day we swooped into a fishing port in Keelung and jumped onto several boats. The fishermen were surprised, but as soon as they learned of our purpose they blithely cooperated and even struck some poses us. "I have not met a single person who is nasty," said Zhang Feng, photographer with The Beijing Evening News.There are lots of place names familiar to us mainlanders as they are featured prominently in movies and pop songs. I was more surprised by the ubiquitous use of "kindness" and "loyalty" street names, terms revitalized in the recent campaign in the mainland to Chinese classics such as Confucius' Analects.Sure, the display of traditional virtues in such high profile could be window-dressing, but it is more than that. We met a middle-aged woman in Daxi, an old town by the Tamsui River where a century ago cargo ship would dock and turn the place into a hub of trading. Now it's a quiet town with a couple of commercial streets. On one of them, which is quite touristy, we talked to this woman who gave up her job to take care of her father.The old man has to get around in a wheelchair and his medical expenses have been covered by welfare, but the full-time care by a family member would be something of a luxury to most families in the Chinese mainland. "We get some income from renting out a storefront," she explains, without a hint of bitterness or regret.In the ensuing days, we encountered other examples of this nature, where a grownup child gives up his or her job to care an ailing parent. I don't know how popular the practice is in Taiwan, but it's the ultimate manifestation of "filial piety", a concept sanctified in Chinese tradition."We just scratched the surface," said Wang Wenyang, photographer with a newspaper devoted to intellectual property protection in China. "We didn't have time to go into people's homes long stretches of time. But from what we could see, the daily lives of Taiwan people have shown sufficiently the lifestyles and human interaction that are the bedrock of this society. It is heavy on small business and it is full of human warmth. We did bump into two weddings, though."On Dihua Street in downtown Taipei, I strolled into a store that has a plaque saying this is the oldest store in the city. Now it sells tea from all over China. The architecture along the street probably goes back to the early days of the Republic of China. But at that time, Taiwan was still occupied by the Japanese.Whether in architecture or food or ways of life, Taiwan seems to have absorbed from all sources, taking what is good and valuable and making it its own. In Ho-Ping Island Hi Park in Keelung, there is a seashore with rocks carved by millions of years of winds and water, similar to the nearby Yeliu Geopark. Despite a gust, a couple of fisherwomen were scouting a certain seaweed that goes into a local snack. A few of our photographers jumped down to search the best shots.Meanwhile, our guide told us this was the location Chiang Kai-shek landed after he retreated from the mainland in 199. Across the strait lies Fujian province, where most of the early settlers in Taiwan hailed from. many decades, there was something stronger than the gusty wind to prevent people from calling on each other. Now it's just a short flight away.After a week of going around Taipei, we stuffed our bags with Taiwan pastry and the memory of a way of life that used to live in ancient textbooks and is now so hauntingly real. It's not the most touristy place, but in an unconscious way it offers a corridor into our past.By Raymond Zhou ( China Daily )上个月我和一群专业的摄影师一起去了台湾,这是我第一次去台湾比起那些旅游景点,这些摄影师更感兴趣的是宝岛上的人这也给我了一种感觉,台湾最美的风景是人仅仅一周的时间,很难去定义这个地方和这个地方的人如何,我向我的队友贺延光求助实他是中国青年报非常有经验的摄影师,之前就已经来过台湾三次第一次来台湾早在1997年,他说:“这里没有多少变化,连外观都没变”在这次旅行中,我们获得的最有意义的理念就是“没有多少变化”当然,年竣工的台北1大楼曾是世界第一高楼,年迪拜的哈利法塔(迪拜塔)的建成使得台北1退居世界第二高楼由于台北没有像香港那样高楼密集,台北1大楼显得“鹤立鸡群”根据我的仔细观察,台北1大楼看起来像是个放大版的中国玉石坠饰,在四周是钱币所有钱币的标志都可以解释,当世界进入全面信息化时代时,现金可能在未来变得特别奇怪但别担心,台北是品尝传统小吃的天堂在这里,小吃和路边摊也是美食;在这里,每天都吸引着无数的吃货,包括中产阶级和时髦的年轻人们;在这里,饭店颠覆了我的固有思维,因为在大陆,我们的饭店通常有着巨大的、装修豪华的大厅或者雅间,能够容纳上百桌在台湾,我们几乎每顿饭都是在那种只有几张桌子的小馆子吃的,但是务好地方也干净当我吃到第一口牛肉面时我就明白为什么这么多人在等位了,因为它的味道实在是太令人惊艳了,这绝对是我人生中吃过的最好吃的牛肉面庙口夜市所有的商贩都是以家庭为单位的,大部分都有半个世纪甚至更长的历史并且我注意到在台北这样规模的店家有很多很多,无论是市区还是郊区,是它们让台北充满了浓浓的人情味当我离开台北时,我深深的感到,虽然台北是一个拥有700万人口的大城市(包括60万城市人口),它仍然给人一种亲切感,好似它仍是一个村庄,只是在不断扩张而已人与人之间的交流非常朴实,毫无距离感我们参观了很多朴素的街巷和夜市,小贩们在沿街叫卖,面包师们让你品尝新鲜出炉的点心,但他们绝不会强迫你买,或是你品尝之后没买,他们也不会甩脸色在他们的言语和行为中,我看到更多的是邻里之间的友好,而不是商人的斤斤计较我们同行的每一个人都对宝岛人民的态度印象深刻有一天,我们抵达了基隆的一个鱼塘,跳上了几艘渔船起初这些渔民有点惊讶,但得知我们的目的后非常爽快地答应了我们的合作请求,甚至摆造型让我们拍照北京晚报的摄影师张峰说:“在台湾我从来没有看到一个人对我甩脸色”在台湾有很多因为电影和流行歌曲而被大陆人所熟知的地名,但当我看到无处不在的“仁义路”和“忠孝路”时还是被震惊了最近,大陆举办了很多阅读中国经典著作的活动,例如论语等,这些词语再度引发人们的关注当然,用高姿态的方式来展示传统美德是装饰门面的,但我们看到的远远不止这些在淡水河边有一个古老的小镇名叫大溪,一个世纪前,这里成为了港口,渐渐发展成了贸易中心现在,这里发展着旅游业,有几条商业小街我们在这里遇到了一位中年妇女,为了照顾父亲而放弃了自己的工作这个老人必须整日待在轮椅上,社保承担了他的医药费,但是要一个家庭成员来全职照顾他,在大陆算的上奢侈说到这个时,她解释道:“我们有一个店面,靠租金来挣钱”言语中没有一丝苦涩和遗憾接下来的日子里,我们还遇到了其他类似的例子,正值壮年的孩子为了照顾生病的父母而放弃了自己的工作我不知道在台湾还有多少这样的事,但是中国传统观念中的“孝顺”在这里体现的淋漓尽致一位在一家致力于中国知识产权保护的报社供职的摄影师王文阳(音)说到,“我们只挖出了表面,没有时间去深入了解他们,但是就我们现在所看到的,台湾人已经充分展示了他们的生活方式台湾建立在家庭式经济和浓浓的人情味之上,人与人之间的互动交流是社会的坚韧基石我们还无意中碰到了两次婚礼”我在台北闹市区的迪化街闲逛时,进了一家据说是这里最古老的商店,茶叶销往全中国迪化街的建筑能够追溯到早期的中华民国时期,但当时,台湾还被日本占领着在这里,无论是建筑、食品还是生活方式,它都吸收着所有的资源,取其精华去其糟粕,发展成自己的特色在基隆和平岛的一个公园里,有一片被数百万年的风吹雨打侵蚀而成的岩石海岸,看起来很像附近的野柳地质公园尽管这里狂风大作,几个渔妇仍在这里搜寻着一种能做出当地小吃的海藻,还有几个我们的摄影师东走西顾寻找最好的角度同时,我们的导游告诉我们,199年蒋介石从大陆撤退到台湾时就是在这里登陆的海峡对面就是福建省,大部分最早的台湾居民也是从这里来的过去几十年,有很多因素让两岸人民不能来往互通,而如今,海峡两岸实现了三通直航,人民交流往来非常容易一周的台北之行结束时,我们的包里都塞满了台湾小吃,过去曾经只是书本上读到的台湾现在深深地刻在我的脑海里它不仅仅是个旅游胜地,而是能让我们无意识地回到过去的桥梁 台湾宝岛 旅行游记。

英语童话剧本: Pulling the radish (拔萝卜) -01- ::19 来源: characters: rabbit、dog、monkey、cat角色:小兔、小鸭子、小、小猫背景:舞台上放着些萝卜出场:音乐响起,小兔子跳着舞高兴地出来采萝卜,突然,它发现一个特大萝卜兔:啊,一个萝卜!一个大萝卜!我把它拔出来H: Oh, a radish! A big radish! I want to pull it out.哎——嗨——呦!哎——嗨——呦!Ai-----Hay---Yo! Ai---Hay---Yo!这萝卜太重了我拔不出来The radish is too big. I can’t pull it out.小鸭子出场小鸭子:我是漂亮的小鸭子我饿了哦,兔,你在干什么?D: I’m a beautiful duckling! Hi, Miss rabbit, What are you doing?兔:你好,先生一个萝卜,一个大萝卜它太大了我拔不出来H: Hello, dear duckling! Here is a radish, a big radish. But it’s too big..I can’t pull it out.小鸭子:我帮你咱们一起拔D: I can help you. Let’s pull it together.兔:谢谢你咱们一起拔H: Thank you .Let’s pull it together.兔和小鸭子:一、二、开始!哎----嗨----呦!哎---嗨---呦!哦,这萝卜太重了我们拔不出来HD: One, two, pull! Ai---Hay—Yo!Ai—Hay—Yo! Oh, the radish is too big. We can’t pull it out.(小伸伸懒腰走了出来)猴:我是小猴我饿了哦,你们在干什么?M: I’m a monkey. I’m hungry. Oh, What are you doing?兔和:你好,猴先生一个萝卜,一个大箩卜它太重了我们拔不出来HD: Hello, Mr. Monkey. A radish, a big radish. It’s too heavy. We can’t pull it out.猴:我帮你们咱们一起拔M: I’ll help you. Let’s pull it together.兔和:谢谢你咱们一起拔HD: Thank you. Let’s pull it together.兔,和猴: 一,二,开始!哎---嗨---呦!哎---嗨---呦!哦,这萝卜太重了我们拔不出来H,DM: One, two, begin! Ai---Hay---Yo! Ai—Hay---Yo! Oh, the radish is too heavy. We can’t pull it out.(小山羊走了过来)羊:我是山羊我饿了哦,你们在干什么?G: I’m a goat. I’m hungry. Oh, what are you doing?、兔和猴:你好,山羊先生一个萝卜,一个大萝卜它太重了我们拔不出来H,DM: Hello, Mr. Goat. A radish. a big radish. It’s too heavy. We can’t pull it out.羊:我帮你们咱们一起拔G: I’ll help you. Let’s pull it together.,兔和猴:谢谢你,咱们一起拔H,DM: Thank you. Let’s pull it together.兔,,猴和羊:一,二,开始哎—嗨---呦!这萝卜真大,这萝卜真重哎—嗨—呦!我们必须使劲干我们一定把它拔出来H,D,MG: One, two, begin. Ai—Hay—Yo! The radish is big. The radish is heavy. Ai---Hay—Yo! We must work hard. We must pull it out.兔,,猴和羊:哎—嗨—呦!啊,萝卜拔出来了!一个大萝卜!一个重萝卜我们大家一起吃!H,D,MG: Ai—Hay—Yo! Hooray, the radish is out! A big radish! We’ll eat it together .A heavy radish!(他们一起围着大萝卜唱歌,跳舞) 英语 童话 剧本。

青海湖—驴友们的旅游圣地 --31 :00: 来源: 青海湖是中国最大的湖,位于中国西北青海省由于降水量连年增加以及采取了相关环境保护措施,青海湖7年来不断扩张,今年总面积已达,353平方公里,年来覆盖面积最大,也是中国最大的咸水湖群羊在湖边悠然吃草,躺在沙滩上看日出日落,是旅游的好去处喔A flock of sheep graze beside Qinghai Lake, the largest lake in China, in Northwest China’s Qinghai province, Oct 18, . Thanks to an increasing precipitation and ecological protection measures, the lake has been expanding seven consecutive years to an area of ,353 square kilometers, the largest coverage in years. It is also the largest salt water lake in China. 青海湖 驴友 旅游。

我的小卧室(My small bedroom) -- ::5 来源: 我的小卧室(My small bedroom)  I have a small bedroom, it’s on the second floor in my house.      There is a small bed, a table and a nice wardrobe in my room. The bed is on the left side of the table. The wardrobe is on the right, it is very beautiful.  There is a lamp and a clock on the table, the lamp is green, the clock looks like an orange, it’s smart.      My bedroom is small, but it’s very comtable.58英语网 www.58en.com。

烟台第一海水浴场迎来旅客高峰 --9 :: 来源: 夏日炎炎,酷热难挡,有什么好地方可以去暑降温呢?去烟台第一海水浴场溜溜吧!The No 1 Bathing Beach of Yantai which lies in the east of the center city is well-equipped,providing services ofswimsuits, safty rings,fresh-water cleaning room,Leisure room and Sun umbrellas.In the morning beach calligraphy enthusiasts write and paint here,and you can see Winter swimming enthusiasts striking waves here all the year around,people walk beside the beach at their leisure are in an endless stream. the dabblers,the No 1 Bathing Beach of Yantai is the first choice.烟台第一海水浴场位于中心市区东部,设备齐全,有出租泳装、安全圈、淡水冲洗间以及休闲房、太阳伞等务早上有沙滩书法爱好者在这里“挥毫泼墨”,一年四季都会看到冬游爱好者在这里搏击海浪,茶余饭后来海边散步的市民更是络绎不绝,这里是戏水者的首选之地Tourists cool themselves on the No 1 Bathing Beach in Yantai, Shandong province on July , . On the day, the beach sees a peak of tourist number.年7月日旅客在山东省烟台第一海水浴场戏水降温这一天,海滩迎来了旅客高峰期 烟台第一海水浴场迎来旅客高峰。

喝酒-- ::59   Can I buy you a drink?   我能为你买杯酒吗?   喝酒时,大家会常说,"Cheers!"   这时我们没必要干杯,喝一点就可以了比如喝一点儿伏特加,就说:   "Have a shot of Vodka, please."。

儿女一箩筐 Cheaper by the Dozen 英文剧本 -- :35:7 来源: 儿女一箩筐 Cheaper by the Dozen 英文剧本 [Rock] Good morning, Tom. [Woman Narrating] Twelve is our number. It's the number of games my husband Tom coaches at Lincoln College every season. It's the number of times we zero out our bank each year to make ends meet. And it's the number of kids we try to keep track of. - [Sighs] - Hey. Good run? Oh, yeah. [Groans] You need a paramedic? No, just a pair of knees. You finish? Still proofing, but I'm sending it to Diane today. Look at this. New, clean cover... no peanut butter stains... yet. - Hey, baby? - Baby? You know, on the run, you know what I was thinking? What? Well, we've been married, what, five years? - Twenty-three. - [Groans] Twenty-three. Sorry. And I think we could use a little change around here... like-like this lumpy old mattress. - Maybe we should just, you know, get rid of it. - [Giggling] Don't be ridiculous, honey. You know you can just pound the lumps out of a mattress. What-What do you mean? You can just pound the lumps out of a mattress? Yeah, just randomly start swatting away. - And it goes flat? - Yes, yes. Just start... You just randomly start swatting... [Shouting, Laughing] Careful. - I got a dog on me! - [Woman Narrating] Twelve's an insane number of kids... but having a small family was never an option us. See, Tom loved growing up with seven brothers and sisters. And after my sister died, I spent most of my time... wishing I had seven brothers and sisters. Tom and I met at Illinois Polytechnic University. He was a senior dreaming of becoming the head football coach there. I was a freshman dreaming of becoming a sports reporter. He wanted eight kids, I wanted eight kids. Bam. An hour after I met him, I knew he was the one. We just had family at the wedding. Oh, and Shake Maguire, Tom's best man. What a hot dog. A year later, we had our first... Nora. I loved taking her to work with me. After Charlie and Lorraine were born, we realized our dream ofliving in the city... - and having eight kids and two careers wasn't gonna work. - [Baby Crying] As much as we wanted our big careers, we wanted our big family more. So Tom settled a Division III coaching job at Lincoln... I quit writing the Tribune, and we moved to the country. Tom and I got busy when we moved to Midland. We had Henry, Sarah, Jake and Mark in consecutive years. Then we went magic number eight, and instead... we got the first set of fraternal twins... Jessica and Kim. - Nine kids. - Come on, you guys. Come on. Wave! Hi! [Cheering] With each child, Tom and I got further from our big career dreams. But we didn't think about that. - [Whistle Blowing] - [Yelling] Yeah! Oh. Sorry, Coach. We had our hands full with nine. We were happy, and we were done. Then we went to a party celebrating Shake Maguire's appointment... to athletic director at our alma mater. And, well, too many beers and nine months later, we had Mike. After that, Tom got a vasectomy. But he didn't hear the doctor say that it would be a few weeks... bee the procedure became effective. In '98, Nigel and Kyle got us to that crazy number . But by then, Tom and I were experts at managing chaos. - [Karate Yells] - Let's move, gang. Come on, come on, come on! - Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo! - Charlie missed his curfew again last night. Take care of that. Hey. You can only put on so much lip gloss, princess! - [Sighs] You blew my concentration! - [Tom] Temper, Sarah. Now I get to start all over again. - Wrap it up, Lorraine! - [Lorraine] Okay, Daddy! - [Yelling, Grunting] - Have you seen my frog, Dad? Sorry, Charlie. Uh, Nigel. Kyle. - It's Mark. - I knew that. Hey, teenager. You got caught on Mom radar last night. You're not gonna get that scholarship if you're out late with Beth... the night bee a big game. Well, I'm not so sure I even want to go to college. Since when? Since Beth's mom offered me a job at the auto shop. Hmm. Sounds exciting. Well, we'll talk about that after you get your full ride. And, meanwhile, in by :00 on school nights. Clear? - Got it. - Anything else you wanna talk about? Did I mention I don't like you very much? - Yeah, you mentioned that. - Then I'm good. - Okay, me too. - [Chuckles] Dude, two words: Need new skates. Dude, three words: Paper route. "Hi. Can't make dinner. Hank and I are moving into our new apartment. Love, Nora." - Have you seen Beans, Mom? - Mm-mm. - [Nigel] Here you go, Gunner. - [Kyle] You hungry, boy? .'.'[Woman Singing] Here you go, Gunner. Are you hungry? Look, I am totally aware that this family doesn't value... self-presentation in the same obsessive way that I do. Fine. Whatever. But one of my life goals... aside from being, like, a fashion guru... is to indicate to the local commy that... the Baker family actually owns a bar of soap. So, as self-appointed in-house rep of style and hygiene... I think I should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror. - Three. - Done. Now help your sister butter the toast. Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse excessive ce has been lifted. So you're going today. Henry, you have band practice, all right? I cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again. Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request... that you do not correct her in front of the class. Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And, please, honey... remember that body parts do not count. Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment at 3:00. You're goin' to work with Dad. [Together] Yeah! - [Both Yelling] - [Yelling] - And we're shooting our Christmas card today. - [Sighs] - What time's Nora coming over? - Uh, she may not make it. She hardly ever comes home since she started dating that doorknob. - He's not a doorknob. - The man irons his jeans, Mom. - Yeah, that's weird. - [Tom] Never mind. I'll shoot it without her. I'll Photoshop her in. Honey, could you take pounds off me with that Photoshop thing? - Can I be Photoshopped in? - Wait. If Sarah's being Photoshopped in... - then I'm definitely gonna get Photoshopped in. - Why don't we all be... Nobody gets Photoshopped in but Nora. Everybody be here by :00. Why do we always do our Christmas cards in May anyway? Because the earlier we get it done, the bigger discount we get at the printer. - Now, let's eat! - [All Chattering] Here you go. Look alive. [Chattering Continues] [Croaks] No, Mark! [Girls Screaming] Get him! [All Shouting] - [Tom] Come on! Get him, Charlie! - He's headed the waffles! - I got him, Charlie! I got him! - Come to Daddy! Come on! Mike, stick! - Mark, net! - I got the door covered! I got the net! [Yells] - Whoa! - Ooh! [Croaking] [Yelling] [Cheering, Shouting] [Gunner Barking] [Mike] Uh-oh. Busted. Put Beans in his cage... now. [All Gasping] Is everything broken? Teacup with the flower on it broken? Nice move, FedEx. [Kate] Okay, here we go, everyone. School. Let's go. Hey. Much cooler. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Henry, here you go. - Thanks, Mom. the record, I am so over Nora's hand-me-downs. All right, well, you look gorgeous in anything, Lorraine. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on? What's wrong with you, mister? Everybody says the FedEx guy dropped me off... 'cause I don't fit in with this family. You fit. You fit right here. - Like that. - [Kyle] I called shotgun! - No, I did! - I did! - I did! - [Kate] All right, that's it! Hey, you two, knock it off! Mom's losing it! I'm losing it! All right. All right. Come on. Break it up. Break it up. Here we go. Are you okay? I'll give you candy. - Nigel, Kyle, chill or be chilled. - Sure. Listen to him. Mark? Oh. [Sighs] - So Nora's not coming? - [Groans] Well, not exactly. Here. That is so Nora. We tell them they can't sleep together... when they visit, so she moves in with him. Honey, she's just trying to have her own life. - She's too young to have her own life. - She's . The same age I was when I was pregnant with her. Five minutes ago, she was sitting on my shoulders... pointing at cows in Munger's Field. - And then you blinked. - Yeah. - Enough with the blinking. No more blinking. - All right. You were checking me out, weren't you? Yes, I was. You got a problem with that? Twelve kids later, and we still got the heat. Whoo! .'.'[Rap] [Whistle Blowing] [Nigel, Kyle Together] Come on! Hit it! Faster, faster, faster! - Is that as fast as you can go? - Is that all you got? Pump them high! Pump them high! Let's go! - Pump it up! - That's good! That's good! That's what I'm talking about. Way to go, Marcus. - [Kyle] Way to go, boys! - [Nigel] Nice passes. - Right here. - Nice job! Man, you're getting old and ugly. Shake. Hey. Hey, what are you doing here? What, are you still too busy being the pansy house-husband to the newspapers? That coach was 5-3. That's doesn't cut it. I'm trying to grow a program. Hey, guys. Remember Shake? We played college ball together. Yeah, the hot dog. Mom said it first. We're having adult time here, boys. No idea what that means. Well, it's this crazy thing where grown-ups... actually get to have a conversation without being interrupted by kids. - Sounds wicked boring. - [Shake] It is. So why don't you run along? Mom's right. He is a wiener. Sorry about that. Kate likes you. It's just that, you know... she had to have the biggest stud on the team. So she, uh, chose the third-string receiver... and got all this. Yeah. So, are you gonna tell me why you're here? Lincoln's a winning machine. You think you can make our old team a champion again? - You mean coach? - Coach. - [Door Closes] - Tom, what is it? Just tell me. - Just... - Okay. Wait. - [Washer, Dryer Rumbling] - Dad's covering with the machines. - To the chute! - Go, go, go! My, this is big. Shake Maguire wants me to coach the Stallions. - Get out! - He offered me... a fat five-year contract, housing allowance, moving expenses. Kate, we can finally get new furniture. We can get a new car. And get this. University employees can send their kids to school free. Wow. Oh. I don't know, honey. A Division I coaching job... that's a lot of pressure and a lot more hours. Yeah, but with all the kids in school next year, we could handle more job pressure. Yeah, but, honey, Midland is our home. I mean, the kids' lives are here. Midland has been great raising our kids... but I never expected them to sacrifice the way that I did. You loved your childhood. Yeah. Except this part... the raggedy, hand-me-down part. The Stallions head coach. It's your dream job, isn't it, honey? I want this one, Kate. Let's talk to the kids. How do you think they'll handle it? - [All Grunting] - We're gonna move! [Yelling] Okay, everybody, you know the drill. On "three," you give me a big "cheese." [Horse Whinnies] Jake, do you have to wear black? Black works, Mom. Jesus, like, has his funeral on Christmas. - He died on Easter, Barbie. - Whatever. He was resurrected on Easter, moron. - Be quiet. - Don't touch me! - [All Arguing] - Hey, hey, hey! What's all the fighting about? Exactly when did you plan on telling us about moving? - I'm not moving! - Yeah, because I'm not moving, all right? - [Voices Overlapping] - [Gunner Barking] - I'm not moving. - Charlie, Evanston is only four hours away. - Beth can come and visit. - This isn't just about Beth, Mom. - My whole life is here at Midland. - [Telephone Ringing] - Hello? - Hi, Mom. - Hi, Nora. You're on speaker. - Hi, everybody. Hank says hi too. So, you guys are thinking about moving up here? Yeah. You got room in that new apartment your big old family? Just big enough two, Dad. How's your book going, Mom? Actually, I just sent it to a friend who's in publishing, so we'll see. - Could we stay on subject, please? - Beans's mother's buried here. I'm not splitting them up. They're family. We can build a fancy new memorial to Pork in our new yard. - Yeah, like we could afd that. - Actually, we can. I'll be making enough money to do that, get you out of hand-me-downs... get Jake those new skates, and get that new car we've been saving . - But I have friends here! - Honey, you'll keep in touch. And you can make new friends. [Voices Overlapping] Quiet! Now, look, I know you're all scared. Moving is a big deal. We're very comtable here. I get that. And that's why I turned down a lot of other coaching offers through the years. But this is a job I wanted since we left Chicago. And, in fact, it's more than a job to me. Um, this is my team... and it's my colors and it's, um... the Stallions. And they're finally calling my number. And I want you to take this risk with me, because if you do... I promise you, we will be... a happier and stronger family. - You promise? - I promise. - I would feel happier and stronger if we vote on it. - Yeah, definitely. - [Voices Overlapping] - [Charlie] We should vote. That's the only way to make it fair. It's the only way to do it. All right, we can vote. But in the end, your mother and I are gonna do what we think is best the family. - What's the point of even voting? - I'm out. - Let's get out of here. It's not even worth it. - Come on, guys. [Nora On Speakerphone] Hello? Still here. All right, eight noes... three yes's and three maybes. Not exactly a mandate. Give me a pen. I'm gonna change some of these. Here we go. - What? - "What"? Let's review, shall we? Here we go. "I'm so glad I found someone whose dreams are as big as mine. I love you. Kate." I always loved the way you go things, Tom. Pedal to the metal, full-on, all of it or none of it. So we're doing this. We're gonna do this. We're doing it. Yeah. And by the time we move, the kids'll get used to the idea. Say good-bye to your mother, Beans. [Tom] Gunner, to the car! - [Growling] - Come on! I'm you. Gunner, to the car! - I'm Gunner. Gunner, to the car! - [Whimpers] Hey, Charlie. Do me a favor and drive the Cutlass? Thanks ruining my life. [Nigel] I don't wanna move! - You know what? Everybody's going with us. - [Both Yelling] We're taking all your toys. Okay. Well, whoever said expressing emotion is a good thing, I'd like to see. .'.'[Rock] [Tom] Hey, this is our street. [Rap On Car Stereo] Are you sure we're gonna fit in here, Dad? You'll have friends here in no time, guys. [Tom] Here we are. We are here. Everybody out. I want everybody out. - [Barking] - Hey, slow down there, Gunner! - Wait up! - Hey, Kyle, check this place out! - Cool! - [Chattering Continues] [Tom] There it is... a 19s classic. [Sarah] What, did the Munsters give you a good price? All right, the twins share, but everybody else gets their own room. - Now, go kill each other the best one! - That's great. Hey, Charlie. You're gonna need a car to visit Beth. The Olds is yours now. You trying to bribe me? Is it working? Little bit. Come on. Welcome home, Kate. - It's gonna be great, Tom. - Mmm. Jessica, come here! Check this out! - [Jake] This room is huge! - Can I see this one? Whoa-ho! Back it up, FedEx. If anyone gets the room across from me, it's Charlie. - And are you Charlie? No. - [Kim] Dude, I call this room. - Nobody else gets it, okay? - [Jessica] Look at the view from here! - It's spectacular! - [Mike] Can I share with you? Oh, God. They're fast-food people. - [Doorbell Rings] - [Man] Hello? People are here! - Hi. - Hi. I'm Tina Shenk. This is my husband Bill and our son Dylan. - How do you do? - We, uh, live across the street. - Thank you. This is lovely. I'm Kate. This is Tom. - Hi. - We're the Bakers. - Oh! - Gunner! Gunner! - I am so sorry. - Sorry. - Are you hiding a cheeseburger anywhere on your person? - L-I don't eat meat. - [Gunner Growling] - Jake? - Dude! Two words: Manners. - What's up? Wanna help me unpack? - Sure. - Put your sweater on, sweetie. - He's inside, dear. Don't start, okay? [Sighs] So, uh, is Jake your only child? No. We have . I couldn't keep her off me. - Heads up! - Oh! - Little less wrist, Mike. - Got it. - Game on! - Uh, they're playing hockey in the house? Well, if the game gets bigger than three-on-three, then they have to take it outside. Uh, Dylan doesn't really care rough play. Uh, you're gonna wanna stop now, dude. - [Yells] - [Tina Screaming] Oh, my God! - Hang on, buddy! - A little help here! - I got him! I got him! - Save my baby! Don't worry, Dylan. I swing from the chandelier all the time. - Cool! - All right. Aah! I got him! L... Oh! I don't got him! - Oh, my God! - [Yelling] So, Dylan, know any good restaurants? [Kate] I've got you, Dylan! Don't worry, honey! - [Jake] Whoa! - You can let go, Dylan. I think she's got you. - Spin him this way so I can... - [Tina] Oh, my God! - Oh, sweetie, are you all right? - I'm fine, Mom. - Oh, dear. - You know, the entire minute and a half we lived here... I really hated that chandelier. - [Chuckles] - Here we go. Okay. We, uh... We better go. It's time your chess lesson. I don't have a chess lesson, Mom. Well, then, you need to practice your chess lesson. Come over anytime, dude. Uh, we'll, uh, we'll call, schedule a play date. No need. Just come by anytime. Oh, no, we'll call. - You're all invited to my birthday. - Oh-ho. That'll be fun. Hey, Charlie, come on down and help me with this, okay? [Kate] Careful, honey. There's glass everywhere. [Cell Phone Ringing] - I got it, Mom. - Okay, well, I'll help you. - Hey, Shake, what's up? - You okay? Really? Okay, well, I'll see you there. Hey! Hey, guess what? Fox Sports wants to interview me on TV! - Okay, well, we got this. - Dad's gotta earn a living! Twelve kids. That's the throwback. Irresponsible is what is. How come we didn't have more kids? Because we wanted one perfect child... and that's what we got. [Croaking] [Yelling] Cool. [Tom] Honey, I'm gonna be home late tonight. I got another press conference. Come on. Whatever happened to that stud... who sat across from me at dinner every night? He got his dream job, remember? [Door Closes] [Yelling] - Good-bye, Dad. - See ya, buddy. Tell the masseuse I'm running about minutes late. - Day on the alien planet. - [Henry] Where you going? To sign up football. And, no, you can't come. [Sarah] Could this place be any more boring? - There's, like, nothing to do around here. - I could give you a make over. All right, then. [Chattering] Hi. I'm Charlie Baker. Oh, yeah, Tom Baker's boy. Read where his old buddy Shake threw him a bone. [Man] Offense or defense? I'm a quarterback. Yeah, well, maybe in Cowpie, Illinois. This is -A, Skippy. The bigs. Put him on defense. Cornerback. By the way, when you show up practice, don't be wearing that hat. Okay, uh, let's see. Who's next? Yes? It's been reported that you like to blast music in your locker room. Why? Uh, well, it loosens up the players... and, uh, gets them psyched. Unless, of course, I start dancing. Then they just get nauseous. [Reporters Chuckling] At least we get to see him on TV. [Reporter] Coach, how do you manage a family of ... and a football team? Well, I've got a great team here... and a solid support system at home. - Go to bed, kids. - Okay, you heard the coach. - Off to bed. Here we go. - [Gunner Groaning] In Midland, we were a family. Now we're a support system? - A family is a support system, Butch. - [Groans] [Ringing] Hello? Who's this? - Somebody from something something. - Okay. Shh. Hello? Yeah, hi, Diane. This is business. Salmons and pinks are so homemaker. All right, focus on your navies and your grays. Navy is muscle, gray is smarts. Choose either, and you'll rule the boardroom. - What's going on? - Guess what? Diane Phillips called. My book's getting published. Did I tell you we're gonna have it all? - You've never said that. - I'm telling you now, baby! Whoo! - Oh-oh. - Oh! - Oh! Whoa! - Mmm! Ooh! Oh, my God! Can you guys just please wait till I leave the room? Can you hurry? [Shudders] - All right, there's one thing. - What? They asked me to go to New York a few days. - Oh. - "Oh"? That was a good "oh," as in "okay." Yes, it's not the best timing in the world. - But you're going to New York. I can handle this. - You'll manage. Yeah. Well, you haven't been home much, Tom, since we moved here. And you're gonna have to, you know, shop school supplies... get them dressed and-and bathed so they're clean... - and put them to bed at night, walk Gunner... - Been there. Done all that. - You're considering this? - I'm not considering it. You're going. Nora can help me out around the house. New York. Wow. Yeah. Wow. It totally sucks. I miss you too... but, I mean, I gotta get a job. Hi, Lorraine. Okay, I'll try and be there, honey. Hi, Kimmy. Yeah, l-I know I haven't been very friendly recently. They are pulling me in again! - Just tell them you can't do it. - Can you guys hold on a second? That's easy you to say. You're an only child. It might be fun to babysit together. No! Whoa, no! No. You know what happened last time we visited. - They were welcoming you into the family. - They set me on fire! Just your pants. Honey, I am an actor, okay? And, sure, last time it was just my pants. But what if next time it's my face? This is the moneymaker. I'm not that good of an actor. This is how I get the jobs. I know that. I'm man enough to admit it. Please? - Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that! - Please, please, please, please? You always do that to me. Fine, fine. You know what? We'll go. But I'll tell you what. One thing happens, and I'm gone. And no fires. And we sleep in the same room. Kimmy, put Dad on. She says she'll help us out if they can stay in the same room. No. No way. No, she knows the rules. She wants to have her own room when she's here. Isn't that sweet? No. Okay, look, why don't you just come over on Sunday, and we'll talk logistics. - All right. Bye. - Tell me Doorknob Man isn't babysitting too. Yes, he very well might be, young lady. And do not set his pants on fire again. - [Kate] Yes. - Classic. It was just his pants. Is anybody besides me thinking our happier and stronger life... was actually code "nastier and suckier"? First, Dad ces us to move. Then Mom decides to become a career person and, like, travel the globe. Now we have to take orders from Hank, the modelactor? - And he hates kids too. - Ow! Nora's blind to his evil. We have no choice but to intervene. We've got 8 hours. Let's work a plan. [All Whispering] All right, Apple schmear season is officially open! [All Cheering] The president of the ed States, Sarah Baker... will throw out the first apple. - [Yells] - [Barking] Come on. Bring on the chin music, baby. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, yes! Ho, it's an apple! And now it's sauce. And that's a beauty! Mmm! Mmm! - Whoa! - [Cheering Continues] Appleschmear. It's the game my Great-Grandma Gilbreth invented. - [Bat Striking Apple] - Neat. Time out. Nora's here. [All Cheering] - Nora! Nora! - No! No, no, no, no! Kids, please do not touch the LeBaron. Just had it detailed. Hey, whoa, Tom. Tom, can we please, uh... ask the kids to respect the perimeter around the LeBaron? Hey, hey, respect the perimeter, kids. Come on. Respect... Back up. Back up. Nora. Nora, welcome. - Come on. - It's a luxury automobile, kids. - Not your daddy's Oldsmobile. - This is you. Congratulations. - Come on. - I wanna hear all about it. - It's very fancy. - Now, about the babysitting. Battle stations. Heads up, Hank! You, Hank! [Yells] [Kyle Giggles] Phase one complete. Sorry about your clothes, Hank. We'll have them dry in no time. [Mocking Jessica] "Sorry about your clothes, Hank. We'll have them dry in no time." What is with the staring? Just stop looking at me. Chopsticks. Open meat bucket. Oh! Begin underwear soaking. So, um, how's the acting career going, Hank? If it was going any better, there'd have to be two of me. Yeah, we saw you in the commercial with the gargling... the mouthwash ad. You know, the remarkable thing about my career is... I only started acting, uh, a month ago... and, uh, I'm aly on TV. It's the real deal. The career is white hot, Tom. It's on fire. I that most actors end up in the food service industry. That's not gonna happen to Hank, Kim. [Hank] Candidly, I, uh, think Nora's right. It's really... It's getting so as I can hardly go out in public anymore. I mean, really, with... between the autograph hounds and the paparazzis... Autographs and everything? I mean, just the one commercial... and you have paparazzi? Yeah. I've-I've actually... I've never actually seen them... but, you know, they hide in the bush and they get their shot. The crazy thing is that now we're trying to sit at home like regularjoes... Yeah, well, honey, it's... And we're watching TV, right? And, boom, comes on a commercial, and, bam, there's me. It's, like, you expect to see yourself in the mirror... you know, and you expect to be looking at the handsome devil... but not on... not on the TV like it is. It's, like, bam! Bam! You turn the channel. You're trying to... you know, get it out, and it's... it just keeps popping up. It's like I can run from me, but I can't hide from me. What a nightmare! Yeah. Nora, honey, you wanna help me in the kitchen? Nora, stop! Yeah. Mm-hmm. Wanna help me in the kitchen? Get a pie, look at a picture of Grandma, say the rosary? - Come on, kids. Here we go. Everybody out. - I'll be back. Tommy. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. - [Whines] - Gunner! [Barking] - Save it, boy. - [Whining] - Hey! - Hey. There you go. You look as good as new. - Yeah. Not as good as you, chief. - Yeah, anywhere. [Whining] - How sweet. - You know what you want? Kate, is this... is this orange juice freshly squeezed? Nora and I are on a bit of an organic diet... and we're only going with the organic freshly squeezed... and it tastes a bit like Tropicana. [Chuckles] He's a winner. - [All Straining] - Gunner, no! Release the hound. All right, charge! You guys popping out another one any time soon? Just... curiosity. [Gunner Grunting] [Groans] - [Grunting, Groaning] - Gunner! - Gunner! - Gunner! It's Gunner. Honey, he's... he's really digging in. Sorry, babe. Gunner, stop! Sit-Sit down! - [Hank] He's attacking! - Stop it, Gunner. - [Growling] - [Yells] - Oh, my. Well, he's hungry. - Stop it, Gunner! [Yelling] - Gunner! - [Screaming] Get him off! Get him off! [All Laughing] [Laughing Stops] [Barking] [Barking] [Yells] Nora! Nora, we didn't want you to go. Look, let's just get something clear. Even though you guys live near me now, I have my own life. It's mine. Not ours... mine. Nora! Would you please get in the LeBaron? - I beg of you! - My loyalty is to Hank now... and that's the way it's gonna be. In the living room, now! Let's go! [Barking] Your neighborhood canines have completely ruined the LeBaron's paint job. I'm sure my family will pay to repaint it. Good, 'cause I'm sure paying your family. - What's that supposed to mean? - I think you know what it means. You soaked his underwear in meat. That is so wrong. Funny, but wrong. Now, who was the mastermind... in the meat-soaking plot against Hank? You were the masterminds? Step back, please. [Making Beeping Noises] [Beeping Intensifies] [Beeping Slows] [Beeping Intensifies] You have a dark gift, Sarah Baker. But it's going to cost everyone a month's allowance. - [All Protesting] - Do you wanna make it two? Now, when your mother leaves tomorrow... I'm gonna need everyone to pull their own weight. Now, go upstairs and go to your rooms! Soaking his underwear in meat? I mean, how do they come up with that? If I could just harness that ingenuity and channel it into something constructive. Yeah, like getting somebody to help you out while I'm gone. I can handle it, even without the better half of the tag team. I know, honey. I'm just worried. I've never left the kids... - Honey, it's three days! - I know. I'm just... I'm gonna miss them. Okay, I froze some dinners. And make sure they get to school on time. It's their first day, so you know how nervous they're gonna be, all right? And, kids, don't worry. Mom can be back from New York in two hours if something happens. Really, it's only one hour with the time difference. All right, I hugged everybody. I love you all. One more hug, and you guys pass it on. All right? All right, thank you, sweetheart. - I love you. - I love you too. - Okay. All right. Do I have everything? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. - Bye, Mom. - Bye. - I love you. - Yeah, yeah. Have a safe flight. Got the whole neighborhood out to say good-bye, huh? [Kim] Bye, Mom! Little vampires, my plan worked. She's gone. Now I can raise you children the way I want to! [Sinister Laughter] Come on. It's gonna be fun. I mean, your dream has come true. Mom's gone. Weak old Dad is here. You can get away with murder. You can do anything you want. Dylan's birthday party is coming up. You can get all hopped up on ice cream and sugar and cake and go crazy. [Tom] You kids are gonna do great today, I promise. What is that? Moo! [Laughter] I guess he's the funniest guy in the herd. [Alarm Blaring] [All Laughing] Walk much? [Laughing] - Hi! - Hey! - Look at you, Diane. - Look at you. You did not have kids. - Yes, I did. - Girl, I can't even manage a boyfriend. - Well, who can? Look at this room! - Oh, it's great. - Isn't it great? - Listen, we've got big plans the book. - Really? I'm so... - Ta-da! Oh, come on! Look at it! - Isn't it great? - It's fantastic. I love it. Look at this. The company wants it in stores by Christmas. - Christmas? - Yes. So, tomorrow... the marketing people will bring you up to speed on the book tour. - A-A book tour? - Yes. We've got talk shows... book signings, personal appearances. And it's only gonna take a couple of weeks. Couple of weeks? Oh, no. I can't be away from the kids that long. Well, if there's no book tour, then there's no book. - Two weeks? - Kate... you've been the primary caregiver , what, years? Can't Tom handle the kids a while? - .'.'[Rock] - [Gunner Barking] They're all going to end up on milk cartons. Gil... Gil, Decker and Rico are playing too loose at the corners. - We need to pull them in. - [Beeping] Sarah, dishwasher! I'll-I'll come by tomorrow after I drop the kids off at school... and we can talk out some offense variations. All right. No, I gotta go. I gotta go. Dad, Nigel hit Kim with a dart, and I assume he will be punished. Uh, Jake, get me a Band-Aid, okay? Here, here. Go stir. You like to stir. Here, let's take a look at it. Let's take a look, see if it's okay. [Gasps] - Oh, no, I'm just kidding. It's actually not... - Uh, Dad? - Yeah? - This's on fire. Oh, no, no. That's the way Daddy likes it! Likes it hot and nice and spicy! Yeah. Here we go. There we go. Got it. All right. - Hey, Dad. - Oh, good. Can you get a Band-Aid? - No need to say hello. - Not one other kid in this neighborhood does chores. Well, we're not like any other family in the neighborhood. Right. So, why do we live here? Dishwasher, now! Jessica, can you get these plates and put them on the table, please? Oh, God. What the... Mike's athletic cup? Ow! Oh! Pasta de la Crotch. - Is that blood? - No, it's just a... [Vomits] Oh! Clean-up on aisle ! Anybody? You need help cleaning up, Dad? [Yells] - I'm in puke! - Are you all right? - Still need help cleaning up? - No, you mopped it up enough with your back. [Vomits] Oh, disgusting! Where's the Band-Aid? - [Kim] Dad, it still hurts. - Oh, here, let me look. Let me look. Nora, where's that Band... Jake put a bucket on Jessica's head, and it's stuck. And when they have a free moment, let my parents know that... I came by to tell 'em I got a job today at an ad agency. Nora... Nora! - Dad, a little help here! - Nora! - Nora! - [Gasping] [Yells] - Are you all right? - [Groans] - You are in over your head, mister! - I'm so sorry. I mean, I will... I will call... It's just my wife is out of town. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Come here. Come here. - Dad, can I kill Jake now? - No, you finish washing the car first. - Dad, can you get this Band-Aid on me? - Yes, yes. Come on. Come on. - Let's go. Okay, come on. Everything will be all right. - [Jessica] Oh, Jake? - Give me the Band-Aid. - That's the last time you put a bucket on my head! - Does that hurt? Okay, good. - [Gunner Barking] - There it is. All right, good. Good. - [Telephone Ringing] [Nigel] Hey, Nigel, wanna play darts? No! No playing darts! I told you that! - Hello? - Hi. How's it going? Oh, everything's fine. I'm just, uh... I'm just here. I'm just, uh, making dinner. - Yeah. - Dad, check me out! - Isn't this awesome? [Yelling] - How are you? - Good, I guess. - [Sarah] Sorry, Dad! I mean, it's kind of weird having all this free time. - You sure everything's all right, honey? - Oh, honey, everything's fine. - [Both Yelling] - I can handle it. All right, you know, I'm just used to tag-teaming to manage the mob. - So I thought... - Oh, no. They're like kittens. - Whoa! - [Sarah] Sorry, Dad! Uh, well, this might be a good time then to talk about me staying a few extra days. - What? A few extra days? - Uh, , give or take. [Whispering Loudly] What did I say about throwing darts? That's a lot of days, Kate, and a couple of key games. All right, but I have a plan. If we just take it one day at a time... and if you start to get overwhelmed or the kids stage a coup... you call me up, I'm home, end of trip. Well, uh, s-s-sounds good. Sounds good. - [Both Giggling] - Got him in the face! Okay, honey, thanks doing this. Give me someone. Oh. Hey, uh, you know what? They're doing homework right now... and it's that math, uh, trig... "trigadronomy" thing that you and I just aren't very good at. And it's the sweetest thing. They med a little study group... and they're helping each other, and, uh, it's like a little mini, uh... - think tank thing. - [Nigel, Kyle Laughing] And I'd just hate to break that up. Well, give everyone my love, and you call me right after dinner, okay? - Okay. Will do. - Bye. - [Glass Shattering] - Bye. - [Nigel] Come on, Dad. Don't hide in the closet. [Kyle] Take it like a man! Two weeks'll go by in no time, guys. You'll see. [Jessica, Kim] Yeah, right! Yeah, right. - [Knocking] - Yeah? - Hey. - What's up? - Okay? - Come in. [Clears Throat] Look, your mom's not coming home a couple of weeks. What? Okay. Up till now, I've been, like, mellow... about this whole having-it-all lifestyle that you and Mom are currently into... "A," because Sarah has the drama queen role totally covered... and "B," because I've benefited from your salary spike... in various shallow but nonetheless pleasing ways. But, Dad, check it out. This afternoon, Mike was repelling from the roof... Nigel was using Kim as a human dartboard... and you employed your son as a vomit mop. Call me crazy, Pops, but things are getting pretty twisted around here. I need to hire some help. As in a babysitter? Okay, that is so not happening. Dad, just call Mom and tell her we need her back home. I just can't do that right now, not with all the work she's done. It just wouldn't be fair. Well, then why don't you spend more time at home? Honey, that's just not an option right now. I've got a big job, a job that I love. I'm gonna have to call in some backup. [Tom] Hello. Uh, my name is Tom Baker, and I'm interested in hiring a domestic helper. Um, I have children. Actually, I'm serious. - Just . - Twelve. There's only two. Oh, plus . How many kids? Well, uh, when you get here we can just count them up. Well, there's . But one doesn't live with me... and one you never see bcause he's so mad. Uh, a dozen? Just-Just-Just . Hello. I'll just hang up on myself. .'.'[Rock On Radio] - Hey, Dad. - Hey, Mike. What's up? - It's Mark. - Right. Mark. What's up? I don't get this math homework. Hey, you know what? I've got a game I'm not nearly prepared . Could you go ask one of your sisters to help you? Yeah. Okay. [Groans] get it. Hello. Yeah, could you do me a favor... and send up pillows to 5? Yes. [Sighs] Thank you. Mmm. That'll be good. "Hey, kids, I had to get to work. "Lorraine and Kim, you're in charge of breakfast. Henry and Jake, lunches. Charlie, handle drop-offs." - [Bell Ringing] - Come on, Charlie. We're gonna be late. Cute car seats, Baker. [Chuckles] You know, we had to take our little brothers to nursery school... if that's okay with you. What happened? Did-Did Mommy and Daddy go back to the farm? You know what? This whole "harass the hick" thing's getting pretty old. Actually, I'm just getting started. - Yeah? What else you got? - Yeah. - You don't wanna know, man. - Oh, I wanna know. Charlie! Charlie, Charlie, stop. Stop. Just let it go, okay? Please. Yeah, Charlie. Let it go, and go... - all the way back to Podunk. - [Girl Chuckles] - Charlie, go. - Go. [Laughter] Hey, Gil, I got a real shot with this team. They're -0. They're rising in the national standings... and they're taking nothing granted. - Hey, Coach. - Hey, teenager, what's up? - We need to talk. - Sure. - Look, Dad, um... - Hey, guys, knock it off! [Boy] All right, Coach! I know you're all lit up about this new job... - but my new school... - The press is waiting, Bake! - They're out there now? - Yeah. Come on. Get dressed. - Hey, can we do this later? Hey, kids. How was your day at school? I'd say the high point was that you're only 5 minutes late picking us up. Hey, you know what? There was a pep rally at school today. There were ,000 people in the stands, and I just couldn't leave. - Here. - Hey, you did a drawing. "My favorite place in the world..." Is that the Midland house? President Gerhard and I have been waiting a half an hour. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had to... I know you have responsibilities at home, Bake, but this is it. This is your shot, your moment, not theirs. What's the matter with you? What are you doing? You've wanted this as long as I've known you. [Sighs] I just don't want to see you blow it. I'll work something out. It's hard to believe someone as staggeringly beautiful as you... could deliver children and still look as yummy as you do. [Laughing] Oh, that's so sweet. I guess the camera can't see my hips. [Kelly] Tell us, did you have them conventionally? [Audience Laughing] [Chuckles] Well, uh, after the sixth one, they just kind of walked out. - [Audience Laughing] - Why don't you us a little something from your book? Oh, I don't know. No. People can just buy it and then it. - Oh, come on. - The audience wants it. - [Audience Cheering] - Oh, all right. Okay. [Clears Throat] "Some, uh, call me a mom. "Others call me a primary caregiver. But they both mean the same thing: Chauffeur." You know, it sounds like you and your husband have things under control at home. Oh, well, I'm lucky to have him. We sure do. Kids, on the carpet! Now! [Gasps] Dad! College guys? [Gasps, Squeals] - What's going on here? - Where's Charlie? - He went to Midland the day. - Midland? It's a school day. - He hates school. - 'Course you couldn't know that 'cause you're never home. Well, that is about to change, Sarah Baker. Because since I can't go to work without you guys getting in trouble... and since I can't stay home without Shake bugging me... I have brought my work home with me. Guys, meet the family. Family, meet the team. - 'Sup, boys? - What's up? Okay, we will be in the living room. We got a lot of work to do. I don't want any interruptions unless it's an emergency. Clear? Okay. Now go do your homework. Let's go, guys. [Tom] All right, first team, line up! [Grunting] Good. Good. Good. But you hit them too high. You wanna hit them low. [Indistinct Shouting] Twenty-four. Dad, come on! Hey, how's New York? [Together] Hi. Okay, I've gotta go now. I love you. [Indistinct] [Grunting] [Indistinct] [Laughing] [Laughing] Step off, missy! You don't talk that way unless it's with humor! Something tells me you had an unpleasant interaction with those boys, Mark. They knocked my glasses off. I heard you were dissing my family. I don't even know your family, loser. - You do now. - My latte! [Shouting] Coach, give us a e. Violence begets violence. [Tom] All right, enough is enough. You're slacking on your chores. You're fiighting at school. Things are out of control. As of this moment, you are all grounded. - What's "grounded"? - "What's grounded?" I'll tell you what grounded is. Except attending games... you go to school; you come home from school; you do your homework; you do your chores; you go to bed; and that's it. - But that... - Oh, yes, Sarah, I know. That sucks. - But that's the way it is. - Does this mean we can't go to Dylan's birthday party? - That's exactly what it means. - We bought his presents aly. You are going to miss it! Now, go to bed! Hey, Gunner. Wanna get up on the bed, buddy? Huh? - Come on. - [Groans] Come on. [Quiet Chattering] - Hello. - Next year, let's book the Mormon Tabernacle Choir too. Whatever happened to pin the tail on the donkey? And on the end around, the guard pulls. That means you, Buttler. .'.'[String Quartet] I'm going to Dylan's birthday party. Who's with me? Yeah! Hi... Oh. Brazilian mud viper. She gets one live rat a week. Hey, Dylan. Wanna play catch with the football I got you? Uh, my nanny'd have to check with my dad... who'd have to check with my mom who would say it was an inappropriate use of free time. Hmm. Sounds like a "yes" to me. Go get it, Mike. And, O'Neal, you gotta crack the first guy that shows outside. [Man Shouting] Run, Billy! Run! [Children Screaming, Shouting] [Shouting Continues] Kids? [Shouting Continues] [Hissing] [Laughing] Get my kids. I'll meet you at the house. - Ready! - [Together] Break! - [Laughing] - [Screaming] Sarah Baker, off, now! - No way! - Don't make me come up there! [Man Yells] Oh, my God! It's gonna blow! [Tom Screaming] - [Grunts] - [Grunts] [Screaming Continues] - Aaaah! - [Screams] It was my best birthday ever, Coach. Your children are never playing with Dylan again! - Sorry about your arm, Dylan. - [Cell Phone Ringing] - [Woman Continues Ranting] - Hello, Shake. Any idea what this could do to my program? Don't speak. Listen. I don't want the players at your house, and I don't want your kids in the department. - There he is! - Coach! Coach! How will this impact Saturday's game? Coach, what do you have to say to reports that you're simply sping yourself too thin? - Is this child care or football? - Sarah from Evanston, you're on with Kate Baker. Mom, it's Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Is everything okay? - Come home immediately. - I wanna talk to her! - No! Guys! - [Children Shouting] - I wanna talk to her! - Guys, stop! - [Line Beeps] - Hello? Now look what you did. - Dad? - Oh, Nora. Thanks coming. Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. - You seemed kind of desperate on the phone. - Yeah. They're... everywhere. You guys? [Cell Phone Ringing] - Hi. - I just talked to the kids. Yes, I know everything. Dylan's in the hospital. Charlie's about to be expelled. And Nora taking time off from her fiirstjob to babysit? - Can we do this later, Kate? - No, Tom. You promised me that you would let me know if you couldn't handle it. I'm doing the best I can. Please, let's talk later. Bye. - What's the matter? - The book tour's over me. I'm going home. [Sighs] [Nora] Get a move on, guys. We gotta get dinner on the table. [Answering Machine Rewinding, Beeping] [Kate On Machine] Hi. It's me. Okay, I'm coming home. Now, I know this is gonna be a big strain. The publishing company arranged the Oprah Winfrey Show to tape at our house tomorrow... which is, you know, great, but I'm really gonna need your help. We're talking Bakers full ce. Boys, you clean up the outside; girls, the inside. I want everybody in fancy, nice, clean clothes. And, Tom, if you could please supervise this one last thing, I would really appreciate it. - Okay? All right. Bye. - [Machine Beeps] Sounds like somebody got his jimmy whipped. [Chuckles] Jimmy whipped! [Screams, Groans] Mommy! [Clattering] [Dog Barking] [Croaks] Beans, you okay? [Phone Ringing] - [Both Yelling] - Go get dressed, guys. - [Woman On P.A., Indistinct] - [Tom On Phone] Hello. Oh, it's me. Yeah. My flight was delayed. They lost my luggage. I'm getting there as soon as I can. Sorry. Okay. Those are Oprah's people! - Is the house clean? - We're working on it, Kate. - Okay. I'll see you when I see you. - [Phone Beeps] Okay, guys, good job! Go inside and get cleaned up. Come on! Hustle up! Hustle up! Let's go! [Snoring] [Jake] Camera truck's here! I need warm water! Look out, Dad! Don't make a mess in the kitchen! - [Knocks] - Hello? Uh, Baker house? - Yeah. You guys from Oprah? - Yes, sir. - She's really gonna be here? - Any time now. Okay, well, just, you know, set up anywhere. - Will do. - Let's go, guys. All right. Let's set up over here, guys. - [Charlie] Knock much? - You got kicked off the team. Well, look who decided to be a parent! Let's check that attitude, Charlie. I don't fit in this town, Dad. I'm going back to Midland. You are not dropping out of school, and you are not walking out on this family. What family? [Scoffs] Since we moved here, everybody's been looking out number one, especially you and Mom. Your mother and I are doing what we think is best everyone. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You did not take this coaching job us. You took this because you were a loser in college while Shake was being a superstar. If you want your shot at glory, if you wanna have it all, you do what you gotta do. But quit feeding us this line about being a happier and stronger family. This move was about you! And you know what? I don't have to sit here and pay the price your life choices. I'm leaving. You're staying. Are you gonna make me? Charlie, I love you. I want you to have the best life you can have. And that means you're getting a diploma. When I graduate, I'm gone. Hey, Charlie, am I looking okay national TV? You know, you turned into a jerk when we moved here! - [Door Closes] - Everybody turned into a jerk when we moved here. [Engine Starts] Charlie? [Lorraine] Mom's home! - Mommy! - Mommy! - Mommy! Never go away again! - Hi. - Mom, listen up. Here's the sizzle. - I missed you, honey. Okay, Dad is stressed to the point of a total meltdown. Charlie's like a half a step away from juvie, and Mark's... Okay. Oprah's coming. We'll talk about it later. Here we go. - Whatever. - I just wanna get everything y. - What's the deal with Charlie? - Fine, thanks. How are you? - I'm sorry. Hi. - Hi. Charlie got kicked off the football team. - What? - Don't worry. I'm handling it. - [Knocking] - [Sighs] Shake. President Gerhard. - Tom. - Tom, we need a minute. - [Croaking] - Please don't die, Beans. The university is prepared to make an investment in the program... but we want some assurances. - What does that mean? - We wanna know you're committed to the football program. You have to decide who's making the bacon and who's cooking it. [Shake] So what's it gonna be, Tom? Tom, didn't you pick up my dry cleaning? Yes, dear. It's in the front closet. Well, I guess the wife just answered our question. The wife's name is Kate, Shake. What a wiener. We want an answer by Monday, Tom. This meeting's over. [Toys Squeaking] I'm all right. [Doll's Voice] I love you. I'm gonna go get y. - [Gasps] - Sorry, Dad. What's this? Hank slept over. Do you have a problem with that? Yes, I have a problem with that! This house is G-rated. Whoa, chief. Look, Nora's a big girl. Now would be an excellent time... you to be very, very quiet... chief. Now, get dressed and get downstairs. Whoa. I just... I can't believe you let things get this bad around here. - I can't believe it. - What can I say? You didn't pick the perfect moment to have a career. Oh, okay, yeah. I'm not even gonna touch that hypocrisy. You told me to go to New York. Mr. I Can Handle It. "Everything'll be okay. Go, Kate!" Help me, would you? So you're telling me you didn't want to go to New York? No. I want a lot of things. So do you. - That's the problem. - This isn't working. - Yeah. That's my point. - I meant the zipper. Let's just get through the next hour, okay? - Fine. - Fine. [Kate] Okay, everybody. I know it's been a diffiicult day... but I need all of you, and I would appreciate it if you could just put on happy faces. Everything's great. We're a big, happy family. If you can remember the lines I told you to say to Oprah. If you can't remember, don't say anything. Big smiles. Let me see 'em. Mom, Beans is dead. Nobody cares about your stupid frog, FedEx. Stop calling me that! - [Children Yelling] - Don't you dare call him that! [Yelling Continues] - [Tom] All right! Hey! - Stop it! Stop it! What's the name of this segment again? Uh, "One Big Happy Family." Okay, I'm calling Oprah's people right now. All I'm saying is, families are inevitable. It's like death or taxes. Does that mean you don't want children? - [Kate] Leave him alone! - Hello! Look at these... They're monsters! - [Yelling Continues] - Honey, you can't want this. That's why you're with me. Nora! Come on! We need you down here! [Lorraine] You're stepping on me! Stop! [Kate] Nigel, get off your brother's head! Get off me! Nobody cares about me! - Nobody cares about me! - Mark, what's going on? - Mark! Mark! - What are you talking about? - I'm perfect! I've never done anything like this bee! - No! None of that! - Hey! Hey! - No, you do not want to come down here. No, it's the farthest thing from a happy family. [Yelling Continues] Why am I the only normal person in the family? Feel free to sleep on the couch. You my mind. Daddy, are you and Mommy gonna get a divorce? Come here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Mark's gone. [Knocking] - Mark's gone. - What? Hey, Dad. What I said bee... I was out of line. get it. You were right. - [Gunner Barking] - [Children Yelling] Mark! - [Phone Ringing] - Hello. Hey, Mark ran away. Is he with you? No. We'll come help you look. There's me! Oh. [Chuckles] - Mark's missing. - Oh. [TVNarrator] Take it to the max. Tommy Max. Let's go. I look great. Did you not hear me? My brother is missing! No. Did you not hear me? I'm on TV! What was that ? Oh. What do you want? My son Mark ran away. He's not here, is he? I always knew one of your kids would land on a milk carton. Twelve is just too big a number. - We'll help you look him. - It's-It's past Dylan's bedtime. We're gonna look him, Tina. - Thank you. - Sure. Let the police handle it! You'll never find him! Oh, we'll find him. Like you said, 's a big number. - Mark! Mark! - Mark! He's about, about... about that high. He's got red hair and glasses. There's a photo, and you can keep that. No luck. I've been everywhere. Thanks looking. - Where's Hank? - He's not gonna make the cut. I hope the family isn't to blame. They're totally to blame. I'll have officers check the train and bus stations. - He wouldn't get on a train or a bus. - He might've. Those times when I ran away from Midland, I was gonna go to Chicago. My favorite place in the world. Your favorite place in the world. [Man On P.A., Indistinct] [Chattering] [Train Whistle Blowing] You said we'd be happier. You didn't keep your promise. I know. I'm sorry. [Train Whistle Blows] Mom! Oh, honey! Oh! [Laughs] Oh, we missed you, sweetheart. Do that again, I'm going to have to pound you. - But I thought I was FedEx. - Your eccentricities and vision problems... are genetic traits that could be attributed to any number of the Baker ancestors. Yeah. Without you, we wouldn't be the Bakers anymore. We'd be, like, . I figured everybody hated me like Sarah and Lorraine hate each other. There are times when I want to kill Sarah... but I'd kill her all the time. - Come here, cutie. - [All Laughing] Tom? You wanna say something? A few words? Sure. Beans was a good frog. He was, uh, not like a lot of the bad frogs... you hear about today, all hopped up. - [Chuckles] - He was lovable. He was almost human. He was like, uh, one of the family. Except that, of course, he was green and he ate flies. But he was a hopper. He hipped and he hopped. He loved hip-hop. Mark, why don't you... I think you should say something. a long time, you were the only person I could talk to. That's different now. But you're the one who got me through. Thanks. I'm resigning after the season, Shake. Giving up the dream, huh? Just going with a different one. No regrets? If I screw up raising my kids... nothing I achieve will matter much. Thank you. We'll make an announcement at the end of the week. Come on. Keep the assembly line up here. We gotta get this done. - Where's Dad? - He went to the game. Why didn't he ask us to go? Because... he didn't want you to be there on the day that he quits his job. - He's quitting his job? - Mm-hmm. - What would we have to do so he wouldn't quit? - I'll give up clarinet lessons. - I'll go back to hand-me-downs. - [All Talking At Once] Okay, ease up. Everybody listen. Dad's a big boy, and he makes his own decisions... and he's doing this because it's what he wants. In that case, I totally take back what I said about the hand-me-downs. I thought so. Anybody else wanna take back their offer? Yeah, there we go. [Chuckles] [Kate Narrating] I guess you could say that when Tom and I left Midland... we had a mess of theories about how to raise children. We still have a mess of children, but no theories. Sure, is still our number. It's the number of months my book was on the best-seller list. It's the number of job offers Tom turned down bee we found one close to home. - Hike! - [All Yelling] And each day, it's the number of times I'm thankful there's such a thing as family. [Chattering] .'.'[Rock] What happened to you? Oh, my God! [Laughing] Save the eggs! Yeah, you got room all your big old family in that new apartment? - [Director] You're on camera, Steve. - Sorry. I am. You idiot. Yeah, you got room in your new apartment that... Battle ax of a wife of mine? You got... [Director] Act angry, not grumpy. - I really am grumpy. - Well, that's good. Two times? - Two times. Ready? - Then going outside? Yeah. Actually, we're almost done, so let's do it. On your mark, get set, go! [Together] I don't wanna move! I don't wanna move! Cut. Good job. Okay? I listened... I listened the "goodest." I don't wanna do it anymore. - One more time. - Last one and you're outta here. - [Frog Croaking] - Cut! Cut! Cut! Somebody help me! Help me! - Whoa! - Just the record, Mom... Be careful, pally. Slow down on that stuff. You're not gonna remember a damn thing in school if you suck them back like I do. Now, on the end around the guard pulls. That means you, Buttler. Whoa. - Cut! - [All Laughing] - Action! - Frankly, I'm concerned. I go around those kids, they start beating on me. What if I get a black eye? [Laughs] Frankly, I'm concerned, honey. The kids set me on fire, they beat me. They're abusive. [Laughing] This is how I get jobs, right here! I'm sorry. I looked at myself in the camera. I'm so... good-looking. They set me on fire! - Sounds good to me. - All the kids wrapped in duct tape. Maybe we can just roll, roll ourselves in duct tape... and then I can just roll you across the floor. Together, maybe. [Laughter] Ow! 箩筐 儿女 剧本。

我喜欢跳舞 I Like Dancing -- ::53 来源: I like dancingvery much. I learn to dance from four years old. Until now, there are alynine years. I take part in many activities, because I think I want to permin front of people. I have a good dance teacher. She dances very well. She isstrict with me. Once I make mistakes, she points it out directly. I learn a lotfrom her. Now, we are good friends. She always encourages me. I think dance isgood to me. I make many dancing friends. And it’s good way to build my body.我很喜欢跳舞,四岁的时候我就开始学习舞蹈了,到现在已经有九年了我参加很多活动因为我觉得我想要在人们面前表现自己我有一个很优秀的舞蹈老师,她舞跳得非常好她对我很严厉,一旦我出错了她就会严厉的指出来,我从她那里学到了很多现在我们是好朋友,她经常鼓舞我我觉得跳舞对我很有好处,我交到了很多舞友同时,舞蹈也是锻炼身体的好方法。

New Term's Plan 新学期计划 -- :3: 来源: New Term's Plan 新学期计划  Next term I'll be a middle school student, so I think the ways of study will be quite different.  Well begun is half done. Firstly I will prepare my lessons bee class. Secondly, if I have any problems about study, I will ask my teacher help. I won't leave them till the next day. Thirdly, I will finish my homework by myself.  I'm sure if I can do these, I will make more progress than bee.  下学期我就将成为一名中学生了,我认为学习方式也会有所不同  良好的开端等于成功的一半首先,我要在课前做好预习第二,如果我学习上遇到问题,我要向老师求助我决不把问题留在第二天第三,我要独立完成作业  我相信如果我做到了这些,我一定会比以前取得更大的进步。