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2019年07月21日 23:41:59来源:妙手助手

  • ;You should major in Business,but minor in Zoology.You need to learn about the bears and bulls,but also the weasels,snakes,and jackasses!;你应该学商务专业,而不是动物学专业。你需要研究熊和牛,鼬鼠、蛇和驴子。 /201507/384724。
  • Can you change your personality significantly? For example, if you are shy, can you turn yourself into an extrovert who never gets stage fright when speaking in public?你能彻底改变自己的性格么?比如,从一个害羞之人变成一个在公众面前登台演讲从不怯场的外向之人。It’s certainly not easy, but experts say it is possible.显然,这并非易事,但是专家说这也不是天方夜谭。First of all, you will never stay the same person. The Wall Street Journal reports several research studies conducted over the past few years show a person’s personality naturally changes over time in response to life events such as entering a committed relationship or advancing in your career.首先,你需要不拘泥于过去的自己。《华尔街日报》报道了在过去几年进行的一些研究,研究发现,人的性格会随着经历一些人生大事而不断变化,比如一段稳定感情的开始、事业的晋升。From the ages of 20 to 65, people report increases in positive traits. Most people tend to become more agreeable, more responsible, more emotionally stable. Their personalities improve as they mature.在25至65岁之间,人们性格中积极的一面会不断增强。大多数人都会变得更加亲切、更具责任心、感情更专一。性格随着人的成熟而日臻完善。When researchers talk about “personality”, they mean a “characteristic pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving that is consistent over time and across situations,” says Christopher Soto, a research psychologist at Colby College in Maine, US. Soto told The Wall Street Journal that personality is about 50 percent innate and 50 percent learned.在接受《华尔街日报》采访时,美国缅因州科尔比学院的心理学家克里斯托弗#8226;索托说:此处,研究人员所说的“性格”是指“(一个人)不会随时间与具体情况而轻易改变的思维方式、感觉以及行为的特点。”而性格中与生俱来的部分与后天习得的部分各占50%。Psychologists usually use the Big Five personality model. According to this model, the human personality can be divided into five broad categories or domains — openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism and extroversion.心理学家常使用“五大类”人格模型,将人类的性格分为五大类:开放型、勤奋型、宜人型、神经质和型外向型。Some personality types are more successful than others. Soto says people who are more conscientious tend to do better in the workplace and school. People who score high on agreeableness and low on neuroticism tend to have more satisfying and stable relationships. Extroverts do better in social and entrepreneurial occupations.其中一些性格类型的人要比其他类型的人更容易成功。索托说,更勤奋的人在工作与学习中表现更好。宜人性高而神经质低的人更容易建立令人满意且稳定的人际关系。外向型的人则在社交与创业中表现突出。Time is key时间是关键According to Soto, even small changes in a person’s personality can produce important effects on relationships, career, health and happiness. But change takes time.据索托所言,一个人性格的细微改变都可能对其感情、事业、健康与幸福带来巨大影响。但改变需要时间。“You start by changing the behavior and then, if you can maintain that new behavior over time, it gets encoded,” Soto says.他说,“你应该从改变行为开始,如果你能在一段时间内保持新的行为方式,那么它就会被渗透到你的性格特点中。”Where do you start? “First, we have to recognize which pieces of our personality affect us,” says Richard Levak, a well-known personality expert who often appears in US TV programs. “If I am always getting fired because I get into arguments with co-workers and always blame others, then I have to realize that I have to change something,” he says.你又要从哪里开始(改变)呢?经常现身美国电视节目的知名性格专家理查德#8226;里瓦克的建议是:“首先,我们需要认识到自身性格中的哪一部分对自己产生了影响。如果我常常会因为与同事的争论而遭到解雇,却责怪他人,那么我就会意识到自己必须在某些方面有所改变。”Don’t set your expectations too high. Be patient. Warren Kennaugh, a behavioral strategist in Sydney, Australia, says it’s important to start small. Identify a first step and then practice it without worrying about the initial results. “It’s like learning to kick a football, you focus on the steps, not whether it goes in the goal,” The Wall Street Journal ed him as saying.不过也不要把你的目标定得太高。要有耐心。来自澳大利亚悉尼的行为策略师沃伦#8226;肯诺就认为从小处做起很重要。确定你第一步要做什么,然后进行练习,不要担心最初的结果。正如《华尔街日报》引用他的话:“这就像学踢足球一样。你关注的是脚法,而不是能否射门。”You should also let the people close to you know what you’re doing. “Not only can they be supportive,” Kennaugh says, “but a change for you can also mean a change for them — one they may not want or be y for, if they aren’t told beforehand.”你还应该让身边的人知道你在做什么。肯诺说:“他们不仅能为你提供持,而且你的改变也意味着对他们的改变——如果你不事先告诉他们的话,他们也许会对你的改变感到难以接受或是还没有做好准备。” /201412/349063。
  • 3.Religious Preferences3.宗教信仰In addition to her upbringing and background, you also should find out if she has any religious preferences and if so, what those preferences are. Like money, religion can undermine your romance before it even begins. Couples who fail to see eye-to-eye on religion could be headed for disaster if they cannot work out these differences before getting married or building a permanent commitment to each other. Like asking for her age, you may be uncomfortable asking about her religious ideals. Even so, you could be saving yourself future troubles by getting this information sooner rather than later.除了个人经历和家庭教育方式,你还应该看看她是否有任何宗教信仰,若有的话是哪种宗教。和钱一样,宗教能在这段浪漫刚开始时就毁掉它。如果情侣们不能在宗教问题上达成一致,不能在结婚或是做出终生承诺前处理这些差异,他们的关系将走向灾难。和询问她的年龄一样,你可能在问她的宗教理想时也不太自然。虽然如此,这也可能比你以后才了解更能避免许多未来的麻烦。Many couples fail to appreciate how religion can impact their relationship until it comes time to plan a wedding, raise children, or plan out other important details. Once they find out that they have different ideals, it can be a major battle to compromise, particularly if you both have deep beliefs that you are unwilling to relinquish.许多情侣都没有重视宗教信仰对他们的关系的影响,直到他们要筹备婚礼、养育孩子或是策划其他重大细节时才意识到这一点。一旦他们发现双方有不同的想法,就会有一场“看谁先妥协”的大战,尤其是两人都坚定自己绝不放弃的时候。Even if you were not brought up in a particular faith or in a religious family, you should always find out if the girl you want to ask out has a religious affiliation and how devoted she is to it. It is important that this part of her be something to which you can conform yourself to or at least accommodate for your own peace of mind.即使你不是在有着特定信仰或是宗教家庭中长大的人,你也应该注意你要约会的女孩有无宗教信仰并且信仰有多深。她在这一部分的想法能与你相符或至少能让你内心平静是很重要的。2.Health2.健康Many people who have serious health challenges look perfectly well and display few outward symptoms. In reality, however, they could be gravely ill and need constant medical attention. Some of the silent conditions whose symptoms may not be obvious at first glance include anemia, hepatitis, chronic lung disease, diabetes, and even heart problems. When you want to ask out a girl that you like, you may do well to find out if she has any health challenges that could call for you to act promptly. Being y to take care of her in case of an emergency requires that you know these details before you begin dating.很多有健康隐患的人看起来非常健康,症状并不外显。然而,实际上他们可能重病在身并且需要长时间医疗看护。一些病症很不明显,其症状很难一眼辨识,例如贫血,肝炎,慢性肺病,糖尿病甚至心脏病。当想约一位你心仪的女孩外出时,你需要做足功课,了解她是否有健康问题需要你能随时做应急处理。在你们开始约会之前,为了以防万一,你要了解她的病症情况并且随时做好照顾她的准备。These conditions and others like them also will have a significant role in your future relationship with her if you both become serious about each other. You will be called upon to learn how to monitor her appearance for signs of illness and act quickly to help her if she becomes ill. If this is something you can handle, you can ask her out and face the likelihood that you will at some point deal with her health issue. If you cannot, it would be best that you avoid asking her out entirely.如果你们正式确立关系了,以上列举的及其他类似的病症对你们以后的相处来说都非常重要。你需要了解如何从她的面色看出发病征兆,一旦判断发病,能够快速应对。如果你能处理上述情形,那么你可以约她出去,也可以处理日后当她身体出现状况时要照顾她的情况。如果你难胜此任,那么干脆不要约她了。This information also comes into play if you want to have children some day. If she has a hereditary illness that could be passed onto your children, you at least will be prepared to seek out genetic counseling or other medical advice if your relationship progresses to that point. Health challenges at any age can determine the outcome of your dating chances with the girl you like. You can prepare now by finding out what, if any, conditions she may be dealing with right now.如果你日后想要孩子,这些信息也能派上用场。如果她的病具有遗传性,可能传给你们的孩子,那么在你们的关系走到这一步时,你至少应该做些遗传或者医疗咨询寻求帮助。无论在任何年龄,健康问题都会影响你和心仪女孩的约会。你可以从现在开始,了解她的健康状况。1.Children1.孩子Couples should share the same mindset when it comes to having children. Many people begin relationships and reach the point of wanting to get married, only to find out that one party abhors the idea of becoming a parent. Even if at first it seems like you both are just living in the moment and seeing where fate takes you, you should investigate how open she is to being a mother at some point in the future. You can decide whether or not to ask her out based on her answer and how well her answer matches your own intentions.对于生小孩与否,夫妻需要想法一致。很多人谈恋爱以后,甚至到了结婚的时候才发现另一半根本不想要小孩。就算一开始你们只活在当下,不考虑以后,你也需要弄清楚她将来对“母亲”这个角色是否接受。你可以根据她的回答以及你们的契合程度决定是否要约她出去。It is also important to remember that few people change their minds about this important topic. If you want to have kids, but she does not, you should not continue to date her with the belief that she will be more receptive to kids in the future. This hope more than likely will lead to your being heartbroken. Rather than set yourself up for disappointment, you should find out this important detail and avoid asking her out if she says she does not want children.切记:生育观念很重要,一旦形成,很少人会改观。如果你想要孩子而她只想过二人世界,你抱着她未来会改观的想法和她继续交往也是徒劳。怀抱着此种愿景,未来你只会更加心碎。与其等待着失望,倒不如一开始就弄清楚她的想法,如若与你背道而驰,还是不要约她出去了。Similarly, if you do not want kids, but she does, you should avoid stringing her along in the relationship. After you find out that she wants kids, you should tell her your side of the argument and politely decline asking her out if she cannot abide by your mindset. You both may be disappointed, but you also save yourself more intense grief later after your hopes for parenthood are dashed. You also spare any kids you might have from being raised by one parent who in reality would have preferred to remain childless for the rest of his or her life.同样的,如果她想要孩子而你不想,你也不能为了和她交往而有所欺瞒。在你发现你们想法不一致时,你应该告诉她你的观点,如果她无法认同,你应该打消约她出去的念头。也许你们都会很失落,但是这比日后承受做父母的梦破碎时的痛苦要好的多。同时,你也挽救了一个孩子,如果他的父亲或母亲并不想生他,他的成长会很痛苦。A myriad of information can determine how well you and the girl you like can build a relationship with each other. Before you ask her out, you must determine these details. The answers to these questions can impact you legally, financially, and emotionally. You can spare yourself a future of turmoil or alternatively look forward to a life of happiness by having these facts on hand before you ask out the girl in which you are interested.种种你要了解的信息可以决定你和心仪女孩能否建立关系。在你约她出去之前,你必须作出决定。对以上问题的回答可以法律角度,经济角度,情感角度影响你。可以让自己避免未来陷入麻烦,又或者可以做好准备,确认好她的想法,约她出去,开始幸福的生活。审校:小飞侠 编辑:Freya然 校对:丸子 /201507/386240。
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